A state of general wretchedness

“How can I deny God, when I am deep in His hell?” – Naguib Mahfouz in Miramar.

I don’t feel wretched. Resigned, abandoned, forsaken, couldn’t care a hoot. There's something to be said for such a state. You want to but can't, won't bother to care. Want to but know you can't change anything to rid the pain, the suffering that wretchedness. You could set my head on fire and the rest of me wouldn’t notice, wouldn’t bother but it would hurt like hell. There that word again. So. I am in hell, deep and let’s leave things at that.