Friday, August 05, 2005

Irish lottery winner speechless as she collects £77m prize

Speechless? Oh no, Ms. Dolores McNamara. Never again will you be speechless. For just a li’l one million I agree to write speeches for you. And it would be a wise move too, seeing how insanely I am in love with hearing my own voice permeate the airwaves around me. The words aren't that bad either. Yes I do have this annoying habit of taking my feet, toe by toe, all the way upto my mouth in any conversation that continues for five minutes or more, but it's not my conversational skills that should concern you. My word selection leaves a lot to be desired but then again, it's not me who has to pay up now. Normally my words are tagged on the steeper side but for you I can whip up a special one week discount. And that should be time enough. For the spotlight to have moved on from you. So. Deal you say?

When I am not daydreaming of striking instant riches without as much as raising a foot, I am lunching on Doritos. The best way to eat them, as I have discovered, is to crunch and crush them to small, eatable, bite sized pieces before opening the pack.
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