Sunday, September 05, 2004

I was working a proper blog entry when I found an e-invite in my inbox, to re-join a young Pakistani outfit. Attached was a form. I started filling it out as it should have been (and expecetd from normal beings) but by the fourth box the kvetcher in me wanted to stage a coup. As I perfected my kvetchy answers, my real self started showing through.

Following are the answers as i filled them in. Of course I held back on some of the Q and A's.

Full Name: A ((Traxwemex)

Date of Birth:*** ** 2758 XLY

Emirate of Residence: DXB

Designation: TBA

Employer's Name: TBA

Employer's Address: TBA

Professional/ Vocational Qualification: Ph.D: "Kvetch & Dawdle: Challenging the intellect." Tangaloloo Goocol, Xantranox.

Telephone (Office/Residence/Mobile/Other): Keeps changing. I am an undercover agent.

Why do you want to join ***? To network with fellow OP's in Dubai and Sharjah specifically and UAE in general. I am on a special mission from Planet Xantranox and was briefed to contaminate as many OP's in UAE is possible. So far local OP's have influenced me more than my stated mission. Need to reverse it soon lest I am annihilated by the Supreme Command. Not a pleasant sight that is...and a most unpleasant feeling.

How can *** benefit from enrolling you as a member? I am not sure what the Almighty had in mind when He sent me in this world, waht can I ever say of the role I see myself in at ***? Dang! I forgot I am on a special mission. Read above.

What activities would attract you in ***? I have been a member for a year now and try to make it to most of its activities. A book club or a literary society would be great however. I would so want to meet up with well read people and discuss the written word with them. This, I believe would give me an insight into the OP psyche and enable me to work towards my mission.

Professional: Writing, editing...thinking up excuses to ward off work. Not always vocal of course. I have an enviable ability to procrastinate and strongly believe that it is an art perfected through years of practice. Today I can proudly say I have achieved the maharishi status in the subtle art of procrastination: looking busy doing nothing.

Sports & extra curricular activities: I have always been a multi-tasker. Here's how: Lounging about on a sofa, reading a book, channel surfing and straining for strange noises and smells from the kitchen announcing my latest culinary effort is charred, again. I am also very sporting; I can easily flick off flies trying to attack mangoes in Pakistan. Great with a fly swatter and a deadly reverse sweep. Inter-galactic Champion Tattle Tad player.

Social & Cultural: Excel in all that defines and confines the growth of an average Pakistani and an above average Xantronoxian. The situation seems to be reversing these days though, at an alarming pace.

Would you like to be contacted by other members if you skills/services are required? (Y/N) Can't see why not when it only helps me towards my goal. Yes.

Would you like to receive commercial or promotional emails from YPP members? (Y/N) No thanks, anything I want to know about I can come back and check on the website. You do update it regularly, don't you? <

Please note: this information will not be passed to any other organization without your prior approval. This information remains the property of *** and will only be used to contact you with respect to achieving the goals of the group.

{*evil laughter* I never signed up for such nonsense. I will, I am in fact, posting all this on my inter-galactic means of communication. Mothership is the hub of all Earthly connectivity. Our onboard plate of the tawde screening system monitors all blogs.}

We would like to thank you for showing interest in *** & taking the time to fill this form. Please email the completed form to ***@****.com. The facilitators of the group will review the form to approve your membership. You may also be contacted for verification or additional information purpose.

What do you reckon are my choices of getting such a form past the powers that be at this group? Serious replies please. ;)


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